I've been getting distressed messages from newly married virgins (especially when both of them are virgins), the difficulty they are experiencing having sex and the lady getting deflowered. This is not funny, this is a serious matter!
A play boy may ask, "what's da big deal? Locate the heaven's gate, zoom in, rotate and gerrout!" Hell, no! Not for the darling bride who had waited all these years to experience it first time on her wedding night. She sure deserves some respect and honour! So no zooming in!
Why are ladies finding sex difficult on the wedding night? Fear and ignorance! You've got to throw all those old wive's fables out the window if you must have a mind blowing sex with your husband on the honey moon. Those warnings sure helped you keep that treasure, now you are married, you must lose inhibitions and let your dear husband do his job. Okay? Nothing to get scared of. Go load yourself with lots of books on sex and relax for the greatest pleasure of your life.
Now, Mr groom, please, take it easy. It's not compulsory you must get to Jerusalem that same night. For a virgin lady to get orgasm on first time sex, I will suggest sexual fasting for 2 days. No sex. Only petting and heavy romance. Wear lingerie or stay naked for 2 days, enjoy seeing what you've never seen all your lives. Listen to good romantic music like "Ololufe" by Tosin Martins. Praise her body. Go memorize some erotic scenes in Songs of Solomon, get drunk with the image of her body. Just be creative. Admire her from head to toe, perform some magic. Off the light, lit candles around the bed (don't burn the hotel down sha) and get heavily turned on. Haaa! Do I still need to teach you how to turn your wife on?
Alright, let me stop here because some guys are already masturbating. if you have issues with your sex life as a newly married couple especially when you married as a virgin, inbox me. I will take you both to Whatsapp and we are going to get raw. You should get your orgasm that same night. Counselling is free.
Sex as I've always hammered is strictly for the married. To practice it now is to live in shame and eternal regret. You can't just compare the dignity and honour that comes with virginity till marriage to having pre-marital sex. Nothing is as honouring as your husband calling your momma excitedly and saying: "Thank you for training my wife well, I met her at home."
Some silly ladies will use pain on the wedding night as an excuse. There are pains that come with dignity and honour, there are pains that come as a result of losing your dignity forever. Choose the one you want. What's more? Pre-marital sex comes with more pain because the lusty, greedy, little guy sees you as nothing but a sex object to be used and dumped, so he handles you roughly and throws you out of his life! One lady experienced vaginal tear during her first time pre-marital sex. I've heard vagina tears from giving birth not from sex. It was horrible! That guy didn't bloody care. He left her to handle it by herself. Sex for a virgin in marriage should be tender, gentle, passionate and affectionate.
Guys should stay pure till marriage too. All these erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other sexual problems most men are experiencing today won't be there if they had not over laboured their manhood while single.
For ladies who had genuinely repented, your husband will still honour you for being sexually disciplined all these years. To have tasted and wait for years till you get married sure deserves an award. Same for guys who stopped having sex after they gave their lives to Christ. Tasting it and stopping it takes grace and some discipline. You sure deserves respect and honour for doing so.
May God grant you to wait till the right time to enjoy sex in Jesus' name. God bless you.
Cheers!
©Seun Oladele.
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