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There’s a desire in everyone that longs for sexual intimacy with the opposite sex, whether you’re spiritually minded or carnally minded. How strong the desire is, it’s a function of what you do to it or the kind of heart you have.
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Just like a tap of water that’s connected to the main supply, without the valve, there won’t be control to the outflow of water. The same happens to your sexual desire. Sexual desire is normal and it’s not absurd that you desire to have sex because you’re human except you’re the type that’s born an eunuch or with a zero libido for sex. God created sex, sexual desire and He also kept a ‘valve’ in you to control it.
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However, due to the inability to control sexual desire especially at puberty years and afterwards, many had ruin their lives with sexual sins (pornography, premarital sex, masturbation, lustful thoughts). Yet, they have become slaves to their desire. Moreover, the desire you fail to tame will enslave you.
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How can you control your desire when your hormones says go or when the drive becomes so strong?
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1. Don’t follow the direction of your erection or emotions
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There’s a direction that every desire tends to lead people in life. And since it’s produced in the mind, it activates a man’s erection making him to act in line with it, especially when he’s a weakling.
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Similarly, an intense desire or pressure would make a lady follow her emotions to the place where her sexual dignity will be destroyed. She’ll be head over heels in love with the man that would ruin her life even when it’s glaring but due to the enslavement of her emotions, she’ll follow suit.
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Don’t think in the direction of your erection or emotions when a sexual desire is ignited in you because you’ll destroy what you may not have the capacity to repair. When sexual thoughts comes, don’t brood over it but think on what is pure, godly and of good report.
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It may sound difficult to do but more destructive if you do it.
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2. Learn to say NO
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It’s one thing to say no, it’s another thing to say it and mean it. Many try to say no but their thoughts or deeds are yearning for a yes.
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You can’t overcome sexual sin if you say yes to your sexual desire. You need to learn to say an affirmative no and walk your talk. Saying it would prevent you from exposing your life to the consequences of saying yes.
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Say no to temptation and all appearance of evil that many ignite sexual desire in you. Know when to turn off the movies that stimulate sexual desires in you. Avoid novels that create sexual fantasies and the sites that throws porn at your face.
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Say no to friends that intimidates or negatively influence so that your story won’t be like Amnon and Tamar in the Bible. Saying no doesn’t make you a fool or a weakling, it only prevents you from ruining your life and precious destiny.
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3. Cultivate a life of principle
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He that fails to live by the rules will be ruled by the circumstances of life. Many people are yet to cultivate a life of principle this is why everything goes well for them, especially the bad ones.
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Live a principled life that shuns pleasure or denies the destructive ones. What you tolerate the most has more effect over your life if you give in to it. Does your sexual desire own you or you can control it?
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4. Consider the timing
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What would happen to your life when you implement the desire at the wrong time? Have you thought about it? It is safer to lower your gaze for better days than to fix your gaze, act upon it and destroy the better days ahead. There’s time having sex is better – when you desire it with your better half. But when you fail to consider the timing and you carry out what you desire, you’ll destroy your life before the right time comes.
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To control your sexual desire, stay clear of friends that are negative influence. Walk your talk – you can’t overcome when you are taking solace on the laps of Delilah or you’re a Potiphar’s wife. Be disciplined. And don’t follow the direction of your desire (thought).
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Having a desire for sex is normal but abnormal when you allow your desire to determine your actions in life.
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© Mayowa Adeniyi 2016
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