I never thought I could fall into fornication (a repost): People in my community.

Sir, each time I hear or read your posts about sex, I wonder how ladies can be so stupid to fall into sex with a guy. I felt it could never happen to me. Sadly, I met a guy recently and before I knew it, I had sex with him. The painful thing is that we had only met twice. I feel so much shame and pain, and I wonder if he charmed me. Please advise me, what can I do?

My RESPONSE:
I'm sorry for your loss..... I hear it often, and it always comes down to one thing: ASSUMPTIONS... Those that think they know, do not humble themselves to learn.... They think they are too strong, and know it all, so they don't read, or ask detailed questions. They feel that those who fell are weak spiritually, or insincere.... This is far from the truth.... I have learnt that those who break the rules of relationship are often the most spiritual persons. They seem to know too much, that they overlook the details and Oh, how great is their fall...

I heard you talk about charm and I smiled, and probably laughed. It is not charm. You simply have not understood the power of attraction and the journey to sex. Many of us are focused on the act of sex itself, but we fail to see that sex is a process. The man who is a stranger today, can be a bedmate 7 months later. If you don't understand "Anointing does not change your blood into stone," then you won't know how to manage the fires of love.

Anyone can overcome immorality when you are dealing with a stranger, but its a different ball game when you are dealing with someone you love, someone who knows you love him, someone who knows your weakness and vulnerability, someone who your body is aching for..... My dear, If you do not know the process of sex, even marital rings, won't save you. We can get married and still commit adultery, because we have not learnt how to manage intimacy.

This is the reason I often ask people to read my books. Sadly, the most knowledgeable people in my FACEBOOK GROUP, have never read my books. They think they know it all. They are quick to condemn others in their comments but I am saddened at the lack of balance and depth in their message. I don't pray for their fall, but I do remember when I had my own crises. I can tell you that it is easier to PREACH, it is another thing to DO THE PREACHING.

So once again here is my advice: If you are looking for someone to blame, or some charm to point at, it won't help anything. Spirituality does not replace Ignorance. My book, HI CAN WE BE FRIENDS, and SEXUAL PURITY IS IT STILL POSSIBLE, are the books that cover this area. Humble yourself and read it, and you will find solutions to your shame and pain.

Hi can we be friends, give you to basis and basics of all friendships, while sexual purity is it still possible tackles the sex journey.....As long as you do not take responsibility for actions, we will never learn. Please, I plead with you. Read them, and more importantly, get back to me. I am not just pushing you to some book to read, I want to go through the lessons with you, and see that you get them.

The reason I will share this post, WITHOUT YOUR ID, is simple: May the strong who read this post, humble themselves, and seek knowledge and may the weak who read this post, stop looking for excuses, and seek knowledge to rise again. I have left the ministry of condemnation to the devil. I have embraced the gospel of grace and mercy that comes from godly sorrow and repentance from dead works. More importantly, I have decided to STUDY THE MECHANICS OF SEX AND RELATIONSHIP, so that after preaching to others, I may not be a cast away.

Let me pray for you: "Father, heal her mind, and let mercy tackle shame and let hope rekindle purpose. You are the God of multiple chances, as long as there is still breath in our nostrils. We fall on you that we may rise by you. May we stand today from the shackles of pain, humbly read the books you have empowered SBNS to write for this generations, and through wisdom and knowledge, build our homes again, in spite of the current darkness. I know you can do this, for I have asked in Jesus name, Amen."